Things That Bother You
Many people just don't give any attention to this widespread phenomenon…
Its name is: The Things That Bother You.
I'm talking about small situations throughout the day, various situations that have taken root in your lifestyle and make damage, rather you are aware of it or not.
The article will detail along with examples some of these situations, as well as alternatives to "occupy" your mind – in order to become more effective and get the most out of your time.
What's Bothering You?
There are many things that bother us throughout the day; I'd like to focus on the following examples (with the help of Mark and Andrea) :
On the highway on the way home, after an exhausting day at work, Mark can't believe "who gave a driving license to the..." that cut him with his car? / that crossed the Intersection on a red light / that drives so recklessly / et cetera…
Andrea can't stop thinking why is it when she's late for Pilates class, she gets the "angry look" from the instructor, yet when Jill is late - it's ok?
Mark is thinking for weeks trying to figure out why John from _____ receives a higher salary on the same job he is doing?
From the day Andrea got the job she is wondering - how this thing sitting in the office next to her - became her boss?
On the gym, the only thing that comes to Mark's mind during practice - is how is he going to tell Monica he can't join her on ______.
Throughout Andrea's flight on a holiday, she tries to figure out how come her husband finished the security inspection, on the airport - ten minutes before she did?
The thought of how Bill would react to Simon's remark is not leaving Mark's mind…
These are bothering thoughts that appear during the day, at different times and frequency - such frequency leads to the wrong impression that these thoughts are not harmful; such frequency causes these thoughts pass "under the radar" directly into your mind...
What do you think about these disturbing thoughts, now that they are listed in one big pile?
How much time these thoughts consume? Given that most of us sleep between 7-9 hours a night, and concentrating at work / school / leisure for at least 9-12 hours - How much time is actually left out of 24 hours?
I'll finish this section of the article with a calculation, using the first example of Mark losing his mind during the drive home:
Given that the arrival time from work to home (including stops) is 20 minutes (at best) a day, and the fact that Mark is going to work at least 20 years (and often it is more), the result will be:
20 min X 5 (days) X 4 (4 weeks = month) X 12 (12 months = years) X 20 (years) = 96,000 minutes that will be used for this "mission" called dealing with disturbing thoughts.
I don't know about you, I am really disturbed by this conclusion.
Implications
In chapter 10 on the course that deals with our mind and thoughts, appears the following quote:
"Both positive and negative emotions can not occupy the mind at the same time".It means your brain can think of one thing at a time and it has some important implications.
In case of the example above, the implication is that we are talking about 96,000 minutes in which the brain is not doing anything, that can help you develop or learn something productive.
The good news is - there is another side to this coin.
Just as you can make sure that the consequences of your actions will be negative (consciously or not), you could make sure the consequences will be positive.
Think what would be the implications if you utilize half the time (48,000 minutes!) to more productive thoughts, think how your life will look like?
The way you spend your time will largely determine your future - we all know this.
The problem is those troubling thoughts that slip into the mind - thoughts that in the short run their impact is not felt, that doesn't mean it will stay like that in the future, on the contrary.
The great strength of these troubling thoughts is this: they accumulate over time.
At the best case, these thoughts will hold you back; at the worst case these thoughts will make you drift off the path / goal you have set for yourself.
Think about this the next time a disturbing ineffective thought 'visits" you.
The Alternative
Let's face it, the fact that you bother yourself with the unbelievably bad "driving style" of the driver you just saw, won't turn him into the best driver of the year...
Imagine what would happen to your driving experience if you ignore those drivers, if instead you'll enjoy the music you hear from one of your favorite CD's, or listen to a fascinating lecture on your way home?
If you are now in the gym, enjoy it, clear your mind, you are guaranteed all the things that are troubling you - will wait patiently until the end of training...
Why not enjoy the flight by thinking about the great time you're going to have, or enjoy the amazing view overlooking the window plane. Is the strongest memory you want to remember from your holiday, is how much time took the security inspection?
Thinking about it, most of these troubling thoughts are characterized by these facts:
- They don't relate directly to us.
- We have no ability to affect or change them.
- They are not relevant in terms of time (happened in the past / will happen in the distant future).
- They represent a much smaller problem than most of us think...
I do not propose to ignore the things that bother you of course, the intention is to filter out those concerns that don't help you and hold you back.
Change This Mindset
If a disturbing thought comes up, ask yourself:
- Where is this thought taking me? a good or a bad place?
- Is this thought relevant to me or related to something / someone I can influence or change (now)?
Finally, remember: disturbing thoughts are not "unchangeable fait".
You control your thoughts, you will determine whether it's for good or bad...
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