New Year's Resolution Project | Part 2
(Part 1 out of 2)
This part will discuss the following topics:
The Steps to making a decision, one that will hold over time.
Your standards and identity.
The difference between 'need to' and 'must'.
We ended the previous part with a question: what does making a decision to change require, not only for the New Year but for a lifetime? We'll continue from here...
The answer consists of four steps that will take you there, and I will elaborate on each:
Those of you who haven't read the Introduction, I strongly advise you do – Here
The First Step Is A Vision:
A vision that describes what it is you really want.
Not what you think you want or hope will happen, such as: "I will stop eating a lot of sugar" or "I will stop smoking", or for example "I will lose 10 pounds"...
The problem with these examples is that they don't inspire.
They don't describe what you'll get or obtain, but what you won't get or "lose".
Obviously, it's very difficult to stand behind these desires...
A vision is what you're about to create!
A vision makes you get excited!
A vision should pull / attract you in challenging moments, not something you need to push yourself to, in order to cope such moments.
If we think about it for a moment – a push requires willpower, but the fact of is, willpower doesn't last too long!
What lasts is something that pulls you, the things that exceptionally excite you, things you want so bad you constantly think about them.
It's the first thing that comes to mind when you wake up in the morning, something that pulls you up to the next level and then another after it - this is the vision you're seeking to create.
This vision should be supported by strong enough reasons, which they too will make you continue and go on, despite the challenges on the way.
This brings us to the second step…
The Second Step Is The Reasons:
The reasons you are looking for can be positive and also negative!
"If I don't (fill in the blank) - it will cost me!", That is an excellent reason!
"If I will (fill in the blank) - I'll gain so and so", for example pleasure and satisfaction - this too is an excellent reason!
Here's a sentence you should write down and put in a conspicuous place: reasons are the first thing you need - the answers will fall right after!
If you have a fascinating vision and excellent reasons, you'll do things other people in your position don't do or think about doing. Furthermore, in case of failure you'll get yourself back on track without delay.
I believe you can think of such situations you had in the past, in which these were exactly the things you did, consciously or not.
The Third Step Is To Remind Yourself:
Yes, feel this vision every day, in order to focus yourself.
Remember when you searched for that specific model of car that was 'sitting' in your head, and suddenly it "popped up" everywhere you went?
Remember that gadget you couldn't stop thinking about, and until you had it you noticed that just about every person on earth has it?!?
That's just it - when you remind your brain on a daily basis, what it is you want, spice it up with a sexy vision and excellent reasons, it starts looking for answers for you...
If we go back and think about what most people do at the New Year, we'll find they make a wish list.
They have no vision, they lack excellent reasons and they don't look back on the list until they discover they didn't stand behind their decisions or... what do you know, another New Year has come... and the result? There is no need to elaborate in that…
So ultimately, what are we talking about?
When we talk about making a change - as a New Year resolution or an ongoing change for the better in your life, we eventually talk about raising your standards.
An ongoing change is different the setting a goal – we won't always be able to achieve our goal, but the experience we go through on the way to achieving it, will raise our standards…
Another way to explain this issue is that most of us obtain what we have to, and don't obtain what we want to.
Most of us have a second list in addition to our wish list, which is a list of needs.
I need to stop smoking.
I need to lose weight.
I need to exercise more.
As we said earlier, the same applies here: if you succeed, great. If not, of course you're disappointed but in the end it's not that bad…
However, when you decide to go from 'want to' to 'must' - when you decide you must (fill in the blank), no matter what, and you'll find any way to get it – that's called to raise your standards.
I'm sure you can think of a time in your life, when you were in a situation where you said: "no more! I must do it no matter what". And from that moment in which you chose to raise your standards in that aspect of your life, something changed right?
Maybe you have a friend or heard of someone who smoked all their life, and said they need to stop.
One day a heart attack "came to visit" and shortly after that person survived the attack, he/she said "no more!" Something changed... What was "need to" became "must", and everything changed... By the way, there's a "side effect" that comes with it – you don't need to suddenly push yourself, you're pulled to that vision…
Continue to New Year's Resolution Project | Part 2 - Page 2
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